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The Metro Herald Guy

You may have had the pleasure of taking a long, smooth and ever so sophisticated journey on one of our fair city’s buses. The scenery is wonderful; traffic lights, graffiti and natives wearing pyjamas. Really makes you feel at home in the big smoke. With coffee in our hands and bosses blowing up the phones, or worse; that guy or girl you don’t remember giving your number to. The granny beside you is tuttering and flustering  about the latest scandal to have hit, and getting more tuttery and flustery as the journey goes on.

With that final traffic light behind you decide that the bus driver may not know to stop, just because ten people in front of you already pressed the button, and you don’t trust technology.

As soon as you think it’s all over and free to walk that last few metres to work, BANG! It’s him! The Metro Herald guy, with papers in hand and swatting everyone he can with his weapon of choice; free to read, advert filled, newsprint. There he is; that guy with barely any English, practically firing those papers at people. What few people realise is; that Metro Herald guy is out to get you. Oh yes, he knew you were going to work that morning and he has been waiting for at least ten minutes for your bus to arrive. Patiently, he waited and then he saw his chance. He took his first paper and that nice old lady who everyone let off first (she never had a chance) was the first to go, then that college dude with his bag. Before long, everyone getting of that bus was reading their horoscopes and Nemi (by Lise Myhre). The Metro Herald Guy had his way and nobody could say no.

You were one of those people (you know who you are), and you spent the first half hour of your day reading horoscopes to your colleagues and talking about that story on the front cover. Totally innocent. Little did you know; but that Metro Herald guy is relentless…..and he will never stop harassing you with his advert filled, free to read newspaper . Every day it will appear in your hand; and that horoscope, that promises so much, will never come true.

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